I had an idea of the man I wanted to marry when I was in high school but the idea was superficial.  I was focused on looks and status.

The guys I dated didn’t have staying power because they didn’t have what I desired at the core.  I was in search of someone with whom I could share my relationship with God.

What I thought was love in high school was conditional.  I wasn’t able to be myself out of fear of being ridiculed.  I was bullied into doing things I didn’t want to do for the sake of fitting in.  This was not love.

When husband and I went on our first date, we’d both made the decision to be ourselves.  We didn’t want to be in another relationship where we felt we needed to change ourselves in order to be liked.  We each, independent of one another, took on the attitude that we would be ourselves completely and if the other person didn’t like us, then we’d move on.

Little did we know, the next person would be the one. 

From the beginning, God was a part of the relationship.  We’d talk each night on the phone and then before we hung up, we would pray together.  Though we were raised in different churches, we were both Christian and had a relationship with God.

We opened ourselves to one another by sharing our faith, entrusting each other with our hearts.  It’s been 29 years this month since our first date and he is still the one who teaches me the most about God’s love.

He has taught me that love is unconditional because he continues to love me even though he’s seen me at my worst. He stands by me despite some of the mean or hurtful things I’ve said to him. He has seen me at my most vulnerable and yet he still remains faithful to me.

Even though we were young when we got married*, we knew the importance of having God center in our relationship.  I believe it was our faith that attracted us to each other in the first place because we are both guided by the values and morals that formed us. 

The values taught to us through our faith connected us.  The foundation of trust and giving ourselves completely to one another has kept our relationship strong.  Showing respect, thinking of one another’s needs and forgiving each other’s faults are also key.

Today, we are still true to ourselves and true to one another.  To me it boils down to the Golden Rule, “do unto others and you want others to do unto you.”  However, if you asked my husband, he would say, “there are three people in a marriage, the Bride, the Groom and God.”  God is the glue that binds us together.