During the leadership conference/retreat at Notre Dame there are several speakers who come to share. The first night was Tim O’Malley who shared insight about St. Augustine of Hippo from his book “Confessions.”

I was with him every step of the way because it was like he was talking about the people I used to work with. He spoke of pride being the root of sin and how it keeps us from being a disciple. He said discipleship is rooted in self-gift.

The second speaker, Eric Buell spoke about “Encouraging the Storm” of which I’d heard the presentation before. He spoke about how people need to “practice” their faith in order to be any good at it and that prayer and action are actually the root words of practice. He made up the word “inquisen” which is a combo of Inquire and listen; which is what we need to do in able to know how God wants us to use our gifts to change the world.

The next speaker was Terry Nelson-Johnson, one of my favorite’s. I was able to get a little one-on-one with him, and two of my friends before his session. We shared memories about the last time we saw each other and I told him I missed his talk on the Paschal Mystery but purchased the audio and have made copies which I give out to everyone. I was proud of myself for taking the time to share with him how much his presentations have encouraged growth in my faith because generally, I’d just keep it to myself.

Of course his talk was wonderful. He invited the participants to “come to the water” and I dipped both hands into the water bowl fully and splashed water onto my arms, body and legs. I told God as I did this that I am “ALL IN” when it comes to my baptism and my call…I am simply living in HIM.

The afternoon session was Terry Nelson-Johnson again and he was going to do the Paschal Mystery presentation. He checked in with me before and asked how he did during the morning session. It was really sweet of him. We ended the session with a ritual prayer in the chapel. There were statues that represented each of the days of the Paschal Mystery and we were invited to come up and lay hands on each of the statues and say a prayer. Our prayers could be for ourselves or for someone else, one for each of the days of the mystery.

Again, not like me, I ended up being the first person to stand up and begin the ritual at the Holy Thursday statue. I prayed for my husband and my girls who give me so much joy and feed me so deeply with their love. I didn’t go in order, as we were just called to come up to pray at all of the statues, so my next one was Holy Saturday. While I was standing there praying over the statue of three women sitting in a circle with their hands open, ready to accept whatever came their way, the director of the leadership conference, Megan came to pray with me. Soon my friend E came to over to us and we became a human invitation of the women waiting in Holy Saturday. It was to touching and we were all filled with emotion. I then moved to Good Friday where I laid down my cross and past work burdens. The statue for Easter was an expecting (pregnant) Mary. I ran my hand over the belly of Mary. I feel like I am in Easter, the joy of knowing something great and wonderful is coming. I love the image of the pregnant Mary because it really helps describe how I feel right now. I am living in hope to what is to come. I know Christ is with me, the calm after the storm and I just keep putting one foot in front of the other knowing that God is guiding each step.

Following the service, I received some hugs from people whom i have attended the conference with in previous years and got a big hug from Terry. I reiterated how much his insight on faith has inspired me and influenced my life.

My friend E and I took a break from campus and went to meet an old friend, Deacon JZ. We never go off campus once we are there but felt like I’d be able to be more open and discuss more fully the elimination of my position and other ministry stuff. It was a beautiful way to wrap up the day!

Sharing these experiences with people who love me for me and support me through the good and the bad has been such a blessing. I’m learning the more I share the skeleton of the story, the more I need to write it down. It is such a crazy story with glimpses of God the whole time. Such a testament that God is always with you!