It’s an odd feeling to wake up and have no direction, no one who needs your attention, no one waiting for you, no where you need to be and nothing that needs to be done. It really challenges your norms.

A typical day lately for me consists of the alarm waking me at 5:00am, my husband turning off the alarm and coming back to bed to hold me. It is one of life’s joys, as I know it is for him too. It is however short lived since the alarm goes off again 9 minutes later.

I think the most difficult thing I do each day is getting out of bed, leaving the comfort of my husbands arms. I know that if I stayed in bed all warm and snuggled with my husband who is the one person on earth who shows me the depth of Christ’s love, I’d be failing Christ and the mission I have.

My first mission is to help Courtney get ready for boot camp. Of course I love the benefit of having her as a gym buddy because my old gym buddy would turn off the alarm instead of snoozing it. My new routine since I haven’t been working has been to make coffee and breakfast for all my girls and sometimes extras for their friends. I have had time to make my lunch too. I would do this occasionally before but regularly now.

One thing about me is that I don’t use the words “I love you” very often. Somewhere along the line I took to heart that love was a powerful word. Over the years I hear the word “love” used without emotion or meaning. Some people use it often to describe how they feel about things…lots of things…which to me devalues the things because if you “love it”, it must be the #1 best thing ever! I think you can like a lot of things, have a few favorites and love the best one.

This thought process can be applied to your “love” relationship, the one person in your life you are to love and be loved by. I have friends who say it as closing out a conversation, “love you, bye”. In this case, though I know they don’t say it to everybody, only close friends and family. Though, it seems cliche to be able to say that the last thing they said to their loved one was, “I love you”.

I guess what bothers me the most about it all is that it takes away the meaning when you say it all of time. I think “I love you” should be said or expressed when it is felt and not out of obligation or habit. I wonder if they were having a conversation with one of the people they end their conversation with, “I love you”, if the phone got disconnected if they would call back just to say it or not.

I struggle with this “love” thing because if someone says “I love you” to me, do they expect a similar response? It’s not that I don’t love them but the more appropriate response would be that I care deeply for you or I value you. These statements more specifically express the feelings felt.