The world is such a state of busyness. I don’t really know anyone who isn’t running in a million different places. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching this year. Trying to get in touch with what is real. I turned 33 in October and felt like this was my year to really make things count. I attended Mass each Tuesday with the girls at their school. I made an effort to deal with my two toughest relationships and came to some reconciliation in both; though still not ideal.

I’ve also done somethings that encouraged me to step outside of my comfort zone. One of those new things is happening right now. I’m at TNT (teens ‘n training), a week-long youth camp being held at Benedictine College.

I’m challenged because my experience as a team leader required me to be a drill sergeant for a segregation exercise. I also had to look at war and peace and played a marine facing very tough moral decisions. I’ve been pushed to the realization that I am not very educated about what is happening in the world or even the country. I mean I watch the news and I thought I was up to date. Also, I just blindly trust that other people are looking out for my best interests but they are only looking out for themselves.

I also have decided that I’m a pretty good parent. I hold the girls to a pretty high standard and many times I am very harsh in my punishments and expectations. However I think they are better people for it and will continue to be.

This week I’ve also played a role in a stupid ad lib skit. I did a horrible job and felt like a complete idiot but I did it. Normally it would have been a NO WAY, but nothing was lost by me participating. I need to just try!

This week my peers in youth ministry found out that I applied for a job at the chancery. It has been a secret but apparently word got out. The news made for some interesting conversations. Most everyone was supportive of me and said they thought I’d do a nice job. Then they followed up with many wants and concerns they have in their jobs and their hopes for what the person who gets the position I applied for will be able to offer in terms of support for them. WOW! There is so much I don’t know about my job, youth ministry, the Catholic Church and our Diocese. Another one of my peers also applied for the position and I’m happy for her but am now nervous because she has an interview set up and I haven’t been called. I’ll be fine if I don’t get the job but it’s a bit nerve racking now in this limbo period.