Every Word

“You kiss your grandma with that mouth?”  A question one might pose to someone who is cursing or speaking dirty to imply that they are being nasty.  Often, the way one talks to and treats their Grandma is not how they treat the general public and especially their friends. 

I’ve had friends who have what I call potty mouths, who find it funny to crack jokes about bodily functions or use a lot of slang words to identify body parts.  There are people I know who curse without blinking an eye, often with every breath.  I know there are people who find humor in trolling others by tricking them and others who tell jokes they would NEVER tell their Grandma with sexual and racial references.

It’s never been something I’ve been comfortable with, either from my own mouth or from those around me.  When my girls were small and some of the kids at school would sing-song, “Trick or Treat Smell My Feet…” my stomach would turn.  Or when during lunch, kids would ask each other to touch their hot dog…not the word they used, I’m sure you get the picture. I had trouble with it.  The other one I really didn’t like was, “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells…” is this even funny?  I must be missing something.

When my nephew was in high school, he got into the habit of using the word, friggin.  I began to challenge him to use other words to describe what he was trying to share.  I would say, “there are so many beautiful words out there, why don’t you use them.” I was kind of hard on him too, or at least that is what my daughters told me. 

Now despite my uncomfortable-ness, I have been known to toss out a few curse words, just not too often.  It becomes a BIG DEAL when someone hears me curse for the first time.  I guess those who know me would put me in a prude category so when they hear profanity from my lips, it really takes them by surprise.

That is not to say I judge those who use profanity or have potty mouths.  My general rule is people are people and they will do what they believe is what they need to do.  I simply don’t need to do it.  Now I have stood up to people who have trolled others and been untruthful and said something unkind and hurtful, sharing openly my dislike of their behavior.  Fortunately, I’ve not been in circles where I’ve needed to stand up to a sexist or racist joke and I pray I have the courage to stand up when and if I do.

For the most part, I think my stance on this is simply because I am what many would call sheltered.  I was raised in a two-parent home, I’m white and naturally introverted.  My relationship with God started pretty early in my life and I wanted to be pleasing.  I never saw or felt the need to speak with profanity and as I mentioned didn’t find humor in the potty mouth stuff.  And honestly, I probably would have gotten grounded if I did and the fear of getting in trouble kept me from saying or doing anything even a little bit questionable.

When I started to work at a church, of course this mentality and practice was a perfect fit.  I didn’t need to watch my mouth around the teens or other adults I worked with because it was never my practice to speak that way.  This is when I started to spend more time reading the scripture.  It was my job to teach the teens about God and help them build a relationship with Jesus, so I spent a lot of time on my own faith.

I’ve always subscribed to the “faith is not taught, it’s caught” mentality and not a big fan of the “do as I say and not what I do” school of thought.  So as I prepared lessons for the teens, I really was developing my own faith so I could be a better model of living according to the precepts of the church.

Now when you are focused on not saying anything that will hurt another person and staying true with your words, it can be difficult.  There were times when I was asked a question in which I couldn’t respond honestly without being disrespectful to another person so I’d say nothing at all.  This was my way of doing what I felt was right, but it allowed others to jump to conclusions that I didn’t intend. Doing what you think is right can sometimes cause trouble.

It was during this period of time when I began to take to heart how Jesus, when faced with opposition used the scripture to speak for him.  Read the exchange between Satan and Jesus in the desert in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 4:1-11.  Jesus had just been baptized by John and went away to the desert to pray, but Satan had other plans.  Each time Satan challenged Jesus, the response is a phrase from scripture.  I realized that when I am faced with adversity, I needed to use scripture to help me find the way out.  It worked too!

I would hear words of scripture at Mass or read a passage in a daily devotional, and it fit a situation I was dealing with or going through.  I most often would reflect on it in my journal or say the scripture in my head, allowing it to marinate in my soul.  After doing this for a while, I was able to be verbal with my so called attacks.  I recall one specific conversation with a high school student who was feeling afraid to be open about sharing their beliefs and I said, “Step out of the boat Peter!”  It just rolled off my tongue and he looked at me as though I was possessed…I was, by the Holy Spirit!

I was also a witness to how diving into the scripture brought forth the Holy Spirit.  One of the Catechists who worked with me was on fire at one of the Confirmation sessions.  Afterwards, he said he couldn’t remember a word he said to the teens but he knew it was good because he felt God take the wheel.  I have heard this from many speakers and I’ve felt it myself, that feeling when you are filled with the Holy Spirit and the words flow from your mouth.

Overall, I think my Grandma’s would prefer to hear me speak with truth and integrity instead of using profanity.  Though I also believe they wouldn’t love me any less.  I’d be more proud if all of my family members loved and accepted me for who I am, instead of someone I try to be when I’m around them. 

It makes me think of the Joshua 24:25 scripture, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”  If I say I am a Christ Follower, then I will live my life that way, through my words and deeds.  So if that means, I’ll quote scripture sometimes?  That’s okay.  I’m just breaking bread!!!