Entering The Kingdom
I’ve always been the kind of ‘sit on the sidelines’ kind of girl. When I played softball, I hated being up at bat because all the attention was on me. I enjoyed sitting in the dugout keeping score over being on the field.
When I was in college I’d take a seat near the back opposite the teacher’s desk hoping to fade into the background, unnoticed. I didn’t want to be front and center or in the middle, instead I wanted a seat where I could take in everything.
It was as though I was watching my life instead of living it.
When I started my study of the scripture, one of the first people I was drawn to is John the Baptist. As a little girl, he kind of creeped me out because the Bible says he ate locusts, yuck! As an adult, growing in my faith, I found him fascinating.
I love how John always knew Jesus was God, even before either of them were born. I love that John lived a simple life and travelled around talking to people about being kind to one another. John wanted to live his life in a manner where you didn’t see him, rather you saw God.
“May I decrease so you may increase”
When I heard this, I wanted it too. I wanted to be less of me and more of God. I wanted to replace my self-doubt, my timid-ness and my initial reaction to blend in for something more.
In my work within the Church, I encountered many adults who were afraid to answer a question about faith for fear they’d get the facts wrong or they’d sound silly. I didn’t want to be like them, I wanted to be like John the Baptist who was firm in his belief and not afraid.
When John the Baptist was living, people ridiculed him for his lifestyle. He endured judgement and opposition but he knew his purpose and he didn’t let the opinion of others keep him from achieving his mission. This inspired me.
So instead of hiding in the dugout on the bench or in the back corner of the classroom, I have intentionally over years taken steps to come out of my shell. I’ve forced myself to do hard things, scary things, and not allow the fact that I don’t know how to do something to keep me from doing it anyways.
For example, I was a part of a planning committee for a Diocesan Junior High Event. One of the sub-committees was to run technology for the event. When it came time for everyone to sign up for the committees, I would have usually taken one step back and said, technology is not my thing. Instead, I decided I wasn’t going to be defined by things I can’t do and took on the challenge of learning something new.
Another hard thing I did was the ‘Muddy Girl’ Obstacle Challenge. It was completely out of my comfort zone because I don’t consider myself competitive or especially physically fit, though I regularly work out. Plus, it was an obstacle course full of mud! I’d never scaled walls or crawled through a puddle of mud on my forearms, until I completed the course.
And probably the most scary thing, for many people including me, was singing the National Anthem at a baseball game. I felt in order to overcome my fear of speaking to large groups of people, I needed to do something to push me. All I can remember from the experience is my leg shaking so badly while I was singing, I’m not sure if I sang all of the words.
His example inspired me to be a participant in my life, to explore, to risk being ridiculed. Instead of standing still, I continue to grow and learn and try new things. I might not feel like it at the time or I might make a fool of myself, but if I do it by giving my whole self to it, then I am living as Christ calls me to live.
I believe God wants us to have lived a life worthy of entering the kingdom. He wants us to know what it feels like to have shared love and experienced loss. He wants us to stand up for what we believe in and to give compassion and mercy to others. God wants us to know and love him as well as knowing and loving ourselves.
In my life, I got to know myself better when I started making room for God. When I started to follow in the footsteps of John the Baptist to decrease so God could increase. I felt more alive. I had purpose.
The life of John the Baptist is a model for how I want to live my life. I want my words and actions to point the way to Jesus, to lead people to a life of faith. I want people to look at me and see Jesus.
