Made Whole

There are mornings when I wake up and believe I am going to knock out my to do list before lunch. This excitement and determination is often countered with little disappointments or detours which cause me to re-route. Since I’m a pretty easy going, positive person, I generally recover well if some of my tasks have to be put off until tomorrow.

There are some days though I just don’t have the patience or open mind to let these frustrations just roll off me. I can get so focused and determined that something has to happen, at just the right time and in a very specific way. When I get this way, though very seldom, I begin to feel like I’m not all together.

I think everyone, at some point in their lives feels like they are in pieces, separated and maybe even broken. We can feel as though we can’t “get it together” or we just don’t “feel like ourselves.” There are tipping points such as loss of a loved one, a big project with a deadline and sometimes unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves or allow others to put on us.

I have two separate thoughts on this (hehe..I’m divided). First I think of following a recipe. For example, someone might think it’s not a big deal to use butter instead of shortening with the same measurement or perhaps think if they don’t add baking power, it won’t make a difference. When you don’t have all of the ingredients, it just isn’t going to turn out the way the item is supposed to be. It might not taste right or as good and it might not look the way you expected.

Second, I think of the Holy Trinity. The specific way God gives life to Jesus and Jesus shares the Holy Spirit with the people and how in turn, the Holy Spirit brings life to Jesus and shares insight into God. The three parts of the Trinity compliment and build up the other so much so that you can barely tell where one ends and the other begins. They are one; complete.

When I feel like I am losing it and falling apart, I don’t always have the awareness that I am missing an important ingredient. I rely on the people in my life whom I know and love, and who know and love me to remind me what I need. Sometimes it is through a kick in the butt or a solid hug; both expressions of unconditional love which gets me back on track.

When I lose my way and don’t feel like myself, it’s often because I’ve strayed off my path. I’ve put too many things in-between myself and my creator, savior, companion; the Holy Trinity. I just don’t feel complete without the presence of the Trinity in my soul. When I am in communion with the Trinity, I am at peace. I am made whole.