Open Your Hearts

When I was younger, I was taught to be quiet when you enter a church to be respectful of those praying.  I was instructed how to walk slowly, bow toward the alter and sit down, kneel and pray.  All of this was to be done without any indication my brother and I had just been calling each other names in the car or singing at the top of our lungs the latest Michael Jackson song with the windows down.  We were to be quiet as a church mouse, or so the saying goes.

There were also instructions on how to act in public places, taught how to order food at a restaurant and the appropriate way to ride an escalator.  So many lessons and so many rules.  These expectations of how to behave in certain places and situations I thought were universal.

I’d been taught about personal space and if I accidentally bumped someone, I needed to apologize.  I’d also been told if I get to the slide at the same time as another kid, I should allow them to go first.  Following these guidelines should keep me from getting into any trouble or causing any conflict with another kid. 

I recall being at our neighborhood park when I was in Kindergarten, playing and minding my own business.  I was taken off guard when a girl about my size grabbed me.  I didn’t know what to do other than to play along.  She and her sisters were playing a game called ‘kidnap’ and I was her prisoner.  It was pretty much a version of freeze tag.  I was the prisoner and needed to stay at the sliding pole.  My captor went in search for more prisoners while the others could come to ‘save’ me.

I could have been closed off by the abrupt way they dragged me into their game and walked away.  I mean, they were strangers and they were acting weirdly.  The girl who grabbed me didn’t even use words, she just kept making noises and the other girls made hand gestures at her.  But I continued to play along, curious and happy to have some new friends.

I imagine, if my Mom or Dad had been at the park with me and saw the way the girl just snatched me, they would have reacted by taking me home.  They’d have told me not to let anyone treat me like that and I needed to protect myself from strangers.  However, I’d have missed out on a beautiful life lesson.

My limited experiences made me a bit cautious about the strange way the girls were acting and communicating.  They were not like me so I was curious to learn more.  This I did.  The girl who grabbed me was deaf.  This new friendship opened me up to a new language, an understanding that there are people who are different than me and that those differences make them beautiful.

Children don’t see differences in people the way adults do.  Often people are afraid of differences and steer clear of them.  We can fool ourselves into thinking our avoidance is for the benefit of the person who is different, that somehow it shows them respect by ignoring them.  We can act as though they have a life-threatening disease and if we touch them or get close, we could contract it.

Instead I was open to a new relationship and to finding out more about these girls.  Our Mom’s even ended up becoming friends.  These girls and I spent hours together playing kidnap, riding our bikes around the neighborhood and swimming all summer together at the community pool.  I’d go with them to visit their Grandma who lived a few blocks from us and we had countless sleepovers.  I even attended church with them on occasion which was a new experience because until I’d met them, I’d only been to a Catholic Church.

Despite our differences, we found friendship.  The differences among us were not so different that we couldn’t be open to give love, forgiveness, mercy and respect.  Our differences were not limitations, rather invitations for growth and understanding.  The lessons taught from my parents are ingrained in who I am and they were passed onto my daughters.  However, the lessons taught to me through the relationship I had with these girls opened my eyes to a world beyond what I knew within my family and extended family.

My experience as a child opened me up to the deaf community.  I somehow maintained much of the sign language I learned, though very elementary.  It is something I’ve shared with my family; still using it to communicate with one another at times.  I also taught the alphabet to the kids at the school on occasions when they’d invite parents to come share with the class. 

It’s a part of me.  A childhood relationship that made an impact on my life.  It opened me up to explore not only differently abled but different perspectives.  This wouldn’t have happened if I’d stayed in my own lane.  I believe we all have those childhood relationships that impact who we become as adults.  I’m grateful for this experience as a reminder of the gifts you can receive when you are open to the differences of others.

I believe this message is universal.  It is a call for each of us to open our hearts to different ideas and perspectives.  God calls us to see ourselves and others as he sees and God sees each of his children as beautifully and wonderfully made.  Regardless if our differences are ones we can see such as someone with a prosthetic limb or ones we can’t such as our religious beliefs.  Every person deserves the opportunity to receive love, forgiveness, mercy and respect.  It doesn’t mean we have to believe what they believe but by sharing these virtues with one another, we can gain insight, stretching us to see the beauty within one another.