Lately I’ve been in a state of “going through the motions of life” and trying to honor God in all I do and say. I have tried to be attentive and aware of God in all things at all times. In doing this, I tend to be on auto pilot. I’ve in a sense lost some hunger or desire because I feel I am already full with God and that God has already completed me…God has filled me and makes me everything I cannot be on my own.

It is sort of hard to explain this emotion other than I really only prefer to rest in God. I prefer to spend time seeking him through prayer, his presence in my everyday activities and in the encounters with my family and others I meet. It is strange but I know God is present and alive and working but I almost don’t even feel as though there is a difference between when I am aware of his presence and when I am not aware. I simply just trust and know he is present.

Overall, my life is very good. I love my God and I know he loves me. I love my husband and the love is reciprocated and expressed. I feel God’s love through that relationship regularly because of the way he loves and supports me with such tenderness. It becomes overwhelming at times.

I’m grateful for the healthy beautiful girls I have been given. My sin is that I complain to others about ridiculous things I cannot change or control with them. I know God is in those relationships because of how open and loving they are. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if all they ate today was ice cream or if they didn’t do a chore. They are safe and healthy and happy and loved beyond belief! I guess my prayer for them is that I can show them this more often and not let the other things get in the way.