2013 - Reflection before ND Vision

Today I left to go to Notre Dame for the fifth time. However, this time it is different because I’m going as a chaperone and not as a group leader and none of my own kids are attending. I have found myself with a very laid back attitude. There are things I would have provided or done if I was “in charge” but I didn’t miss any of it. When I woke up I was aware that my actions were different, my time was more leisurely and not stressed.

What do I hope to come home with this week? What are my expectations?

I want to gain some sense of what my next step is, if any. To check in to see if I am where I am supposed to be. If the decisions I am making are the right ones. I want to write down and think through a “transitional” housing plan to see how it feels. And to process the purpose and goal of this plan.

I need to check in with myself. It would be good to take a little time to finish my story so it is out of my mind. Also so I can write the current story too. I’d like to consider not working and what that would look like and how it would affect my family. And if I do all of this or none of this, the most important thing is to remain true to myself and who I am!

I think this week will be all about relationship even though that is not the leadership track’s theme. There are expected to be some relationship challenges, especially my relationship with Jesus in the sense that I need to not dwell on the past or say anything I might regret or need to seek forgiveness. It is easy to fall into the trap of saying things one shouldn’t, especially in this situation (my job was terminated abruptly) or allowing others to speak for me so I can metaphorically “wash my hands” of it because it wasn’t me who spoke negatively. It is simply unfair for me to do and just as sinful to keep my mouth shut to allow someone else to say something, even if it were true.

I’m looking forward to a lot of little things that will mean a lot…attending Mass at the Basilica, Prayer time at the Grotto, soaking in each moment to capture the experience and allowing God to love on me.