Hold to My Covenant
In the Catholic Church, a marriage is a covenant between the couple and God. It creates a new trinity of sorts, not to replace the Holy Trinity, but to enhance it. God, the three in one, bonds with the two individuals, to create a new being. This is the Sacrament of Marriage.
In the world, people get married all the time. It happens in churches, courthouses, on the beach and on the strip in Vegas. Some are spur of the moment and others are a means to an end, such as to validate immigration status. These unions often don’t include God as a part of the marriage vow.
That is not to say these marriages aren’t valid, nor am I placing less value on them. My purpose in stating them is that I wish to include all marriages, even those arranged or required. My belief is that because God is present in each person, though not recognized always, God is still there in the marriage.
A ring is the symbol of the covenant made between the two people entering into the marriage. The tradition of the ring starts with a proposal, a promise of marriage. I think jewelry companies and the worlds consumption mentality has made the ring more about status and individuality than it’s original purpose; being a symbol of the promises of fidelity and honor shared between the couple.
In a movie, I once saw a piece of yarn used as the symbol to bond the couple together. In three different books I’ve read recently, there were stories of people making commitments to one another without witnesses and without rings. In these scenarios, the importance wasn’t placed on the material symbol, instead on the words expressing their commitment to one another.
When some marriages end, there are huge conflicts about the rings and to whom they belong. The ring then, instead of being a symbol of the covenant, becomes a bargaining chip. It symbolizes hurt or is simply seen as it’s dollar value.
Now there are some who don’t put any value on the ring, even when it is on their own finger. The ring doesn’t keep them from entering into an intimate relationship with another person. I’ve seen people portrayed in movies or books who either look for a ring to steer clear of a relationship and others who seek them out as a challenge. Some stories include characters who remove their ring to give the impression there isn’t a commitment to another person. And in one Adam Sandler movie, he intentionally put on a ring to gain sympathy of women. He makes up a pretend wife who died and says he can’t bear to take the ring off, making him seem somehow more attractive.
I must also include that my husband and I, who have been married for 27 years, don’t wear rings. Yes, at our wedding we exchanged rings and we both wore them for a while but for much of our marriage, one or both of us have gone without. Those who know us will tell you that it is not the ring that shows we are two people who are committed to one another, it is seen by our love and respect of each other.
The popular statistic about 50% of marriages failing doesn’t necessarily have to do with the compatibility of the people or whether the union was blessed in a church, rather how seriously the two individuals take the marriage vows that connect them. I believe it is our humanness that is the culprit here.
If we were more like God who makes a promise and keeps it, then the statistic would be different. Instead, we allow ourselves to get wrapped up in emotion, allow our desires of the flesh to lead our actions or let other people force us to do what they think is right or necessary. People can enter into marriage unions to gain status or increase their net worth and have no love or respect for the other person. There is no intention or little intention of working to keep the promises of the covenant of marriage, thus giving it a bad wrap.
I have a hunch that people who plan to enter into a marriage union, don’t understand completely the commitment they are making. They think, marriage will fix problems, change behaviors and they will live happily ever after in a love bubble for the rest of their days because that is how the story is supposed to end. Then when one or both of the people who entered into the covenant no longer respect it, the marriage dissolves.
The scripture passage, Isaiah 56:1,6-7 talks about God’s covenant with his people. I think we can learn from this scripture to help us understand the commitment of the marriage covenant more clearly. Each of the individuals looking to enter into the marriage, must bring all they have to the altar. They can’t hold back. When they put everything on the table for the other person to see, no surprises, no exceptions, they are ready to make the commitment to love and honor the other for all of their days.
Every union will encounter trouble. We can get frustrated, feel left out and not like each other for a while but don’t we have these feelings about God sometimes too?
I think there are some words in the English language (all languages actually), that should have an asterisks* to indicate the word is elevated or important. One of these words would be COVENANT* and another, LOVE*. The asterisks would give warning that these words should not be used lightly; they have great value.
Perhaps in the end, even though God is present in the marriage, whether we intentionally bring him in or not, it is our acknowledgement that God is there that strengthens the bond. And even more so that each individual puts value on the vows and the covenant they enter into with the other individual out of respect and love. Let us learn from God how to honor the covenants we make with the people we love.
