Make Your Requests Known
I stopped eating meat several years ago. It was at first something I chose to do as a spiritual practice; give up meat for Lent. Then I continued. I did eat fish, so I’ve learned the correct word to identify my dietary preference is pescatarian.
My decision to continue this practice didn’t set well with my husband at first, afraid I’d not get enough protein in my diet. It also messed up some of our regular meal staples. No more burger night! It definitely took a bit of an adjustment.
As we adjusted at home, I didn’t understand how my choice would affect others outside of my home. Each time we’d make plans to visit family or friends, there would two scenarios 1) if they knew I didn’t eat meat, they’d make me something separate and 2) if they didn’t know, then the discussion unfortunately was often had at the most inopportune time such as in the middle of dinner.
Either way, I felt the decision I’d made not to eat meat was something for which I should be ashamed. When in fact, I wasn’t doing it to make a statement against inhumane treatment of animals or because of the growth hormones or any of the countless other reasons people ward off meat. Nor did I carry a flag to wave in the faces of those with whom I dined advocating for them to come to my side, join my team!
My decision was based on the simple fact that I felt better. I also never really enjoyed the taste of chicken and growing up, no matter what the meat was, I preferred all the tasty side dishes. To me, the sides were the main event in a meal anyways. I didn’t bring it up, because I would always get my fill and always carried a protein bar in my bag or car, just in case.
Though I don’t eat meat, I’m also very particular about the fish I do consume. So, as to not make a big deal about it, when someone would make something especially for me, I’d grin and bear it. That is until I didn’t.
At a family dinner, all fifteen of us at the time were piling food on our plates. Typically with such a big crowd we serve dinner buffet style where everyone grabs what they want and pulls up a seat. The host tried out a new scallop recipe. I, unbeknownst to him am not much of a scallop fan but I did take one to eat. I figured I’d better so when asked about the new recipe I could respond.
As luck would have it, the host sat down next to me. After trying a scallop, he was pleased. He noticed I didn’t have any on my plate, because by the time he sat down, I’d already eaten mine. Then uncharacteristically, he grabbed one from his plate and tossed it on mine.
I was frozen for a second, then at the thought of eating another, well, I sorta lost it. I became overwhelmed with emotion and burst out for the entire family and possibly the neighbors to hear I DO NOT LIKE SCALLOPS and I’M NOT GOING TO PRETEND I DO ANYMORE. I proceeded to stand up and walk myself with my plate over to the trash can and threw it away.
I’m sure my family would say my performance was worthy of an Oscar, though they’d also say they were sad about the poor scallop I’d tossed. Any number of them would say they’d have eaten it. I believe I should also point out, this was not one of those little bite sized scallops that you pop in your mouth like popcorn, these where the jumbo sized sea scallops the size of a silver dollar that you’ve gotta use a knife and fork to cut into manageable portions to fit in your mouth.
Not a proud moment in any case. In my attempt to keep my contempt under wraps to save any hurt feelings of my host only caused my pent-up feelings to erupt like a geyser spewing everywhere. I didn’t pick an appropriate time or manner to share my dislike, instead made such a scene it has become one of the families inside jokes
I didn’t share my preferences with my family and in their attempt to accommodate my dietary difference, they were expressing their love for me. Both parties were looking out for the best interests of the other but unfortunately it all blew up in our faces.
If I’d only shared my thoughts with my family beforehand, they’d have known how I felt about the scallops. I could have let them know I supported there decision to make them as a part of the meal and I’d have one to share in the experience. They would have understood and not intentioned that the majority of the scallops would be on my plate.
Though, God knows what we need before we need it, we should also give God the courtesy of telling him what we need. We need to articulate our desires to God. It makes me think of a mother who can anticipate her child’s needs. If she continues to provide everything without the child asking, the child can become ungrateful and could later become angry when others don’t anticipate their needs.
It’s the right thing to do, even if it is God. Just because he already knows what we need and will give it to us, doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the appropriate respect of asking. Since God is consistent in giving, it can become easy to take his generosity for granted. So, when you pray, let God know what you need and ask the scripture says, “make your petitions known to God.” I have a feeling you will both feel better about the conversation!
