Rich Food and Choice Wine

I recall days when my girls were small when I was good if I brushed my teeth before I took them to school.  My oldest daughter recently shared with me how she remembers a time when I threw a Little Debbie treat at her to eat for breakfast as she was headed out the door to catch her carpool.  I certainly wasn’t bringing my best on THOSE days!

I’m grateful I can look back on the days when I could barely get my teeth brushed or a healthy breakfast for my kiddos, if only to say they are in the past.  I was trying to do everything and wearing myself so thin I was no good to anybody. 

I know now, I was not open to the gifts God had laid out for me.  Instead I was trying to meet expectations I’d put on myself or thought others put on me and didn’t have enough to give sometimes.  I would get frustrated because when I’d get to work, I needed to be home and when I was home, there was something I needed to do at work.

I wasn’t filling up at God’s banquet table and then overflowing grace, mercy and love onto others.  Instead, I was dragging out the paper plates and plastic silverware just to get by, hoping no one would notice.  I think it is a reality for many Mom’s.  We want to show the world that we can somehow be the best stay at home parent AND still work a full-time job. 

What saved me was a shift in perspective and my youngest daughter starting preschool.  Let’s be honest, those few hours each week gave me some uninterrupted work time that kept me from feeling like I was going under.  It also gave me time to work on myself, which I used the time to journal.

The act of writing down my thoughts and prayers helped me to let go of some of the stress and worry I was carrying.  I was able to lay it all down for God, at the altar.  It lightened my load so I was able to be a better person to whomever I encountered.  I’ll just say, there are some people who I wasn’t particularly nice to before I was able to find journaling.

In my journal, I could be honest.  I could say the things I wanted to say without judgement or harm.  I was able to put words to my emotions and through writing I could see patterns in my behavior that I needed to change.  I saw myself more clearly and wanted to be different.  It’s what drew me to start going to daily Mass and reading the Bible.

What I didn’t know is that God had put everything I need right in front of me.  I was just too overwhelmed.  I was too busy giving and giving, that I wasn’t taking the time to get filled.  God kept calling me to spent time with him, sending the invitation to the banquet and I kept telling him I didn’t have time.

I learned later that God’s time is different than our time.  When I give time to God, even if there are other things I should do or need to do, God repays me for the time I spent with him.  Every time I go to daily Mass or spend a little extra time in Adoration, the tasks I expected to do still get done, even with less time.

God has a way of tending to our souls.  He helps us see things differently and he gives us peace.  The key is that we choose to come to him to be fed.  The invitation is ours to accept.

At the banquet of the Lord it is not the rich food and choice wine we crave here on earth.  God fills us with all of the things he gives with abundance unconditionally; love, grace, mercy and forgiveness.  It’s all there for us to fill up on so we can go and share it with others. 

I know now, today, I am a much better person when I accept the invitation to the Lord’s banquet and feast on his goodness.  It is from my fullness that I am able to overflow and hopefully be an example to others; inspiring them to accept the invitation to come to the feast!