Conduct Yourselves
There are expected ways to behave when at church, at a baseball game and at the symphony. General, unspoken rules of what is acceptable and what is not.
When I was little, I thought everyone was taught the same thing and we were all supposed to do it the way my parents taught me. It wasn’t until I was older that I began to understand, our way was not the only way.
I’d witness kids my age or older at the theater talking during the movie and having popcorn fights. I’d see people pretend the trash can was a basketball hoop and take a shot using their empty soda can as the basketball, miss and not pick up the can. These are just a couple examples of behavior I saw which if seen acting this way by my parents, I’d be grounded for a while.
As I got older too, I learned there were rules for expected behavior at our place of work. My first job required us to wear a specific shirt as our uniform. When I worked at the church there was a code of conduct we needed to sign and agree to follow. Some of the rules indicated how we interacted with others and even what we posted on social media.
I learned further that depending on how old a person is, there are even expectations about how people should act. Such as everyone knows a toddler is going to throw a fit and though it’s not appropriate it is expected behavior. A teenager is going to act moody and press boundaries. Then on the other end of the spectrum, Grandma’s aren’t supposed to curse or talk about sex.
The older I got and the more exposure I had to others in the world, I realized, the expectations of behavior taught to me were not universal. It was clear to me when I became a parent that I had the choice to pass on the expectations or not. My husband and I had to choose which expectations that had been taught to us would be passed onto our kids.
I realized some of the expectations didn’t come from our parents but were being passed down from their parents. One specific example is that as a family we dressed up for Christmas Eve dinner. Everyone. The expectation started when after dinner and a few opened presents, we’d all go to Midnight Mass. So, we were really dressing up for Church and not for dinner.
Even today, there is the expectation to dress up for Christmas Eve dinner even though we don’t go to Midnight Mass anymore. Now the emphasis is that it’s a special meal, using the china and special silverware warrants us to dress up. Plus when you’re wearing your Sunday best, you tend to act more refined by default…sometimes.
I believe all of this about expected behavior stems back to the scripture when Saint Paul said to the people of Philippi that they needed to “conduct themselves in a manner worthy of Christ” (Philippians 1:27a). The first Christians were working to change their behaviors. They were doing their best to follow the laws Jesus taught, Love God and Love your Neighbors. Their mantra was, “they’ll know we are Christians by our love!”
My parents taught me to not talk at the movies and not to leave a mess for someone else to have to clean up. My first job wanted me to wear a uniform so I could be identified as an employee and help provide exemplary customer service. The church has high expectations of their employees because people look to them as examples of living the Christian Life.
Even the emphasis of dressing up for special occasions, Christmas Eve dinner or other celebrations is not bad. It does help identify the meal as something out of the ordinary and who doesn’t act differently when wearing pantyhose!
All of this forms me into a person who cares for others and cares for the earth. They are guidelines to help me be a better, respectful person. And hopefully, through my words and actions I conduct myself in a way worthy of Christ. At least make my earthy parents and my heavenly Father proud to call me their daughter!
