Melt Away
I hear lies from the world every day. I hear a forecast for a sunny day and then it rains. I’m told I can join the gym for only $10.00 a month. I read the sign that says ‘Going Out of Business’ at a store that had that same sale last year. There are hidden fees, extra charges and people trying to get the most they can for the least amount of effort.
The advertising I hear on TV or radio are almost worse. It’s not how they are selling, more of what they are selling. The ads promoting beauty cream or makeup products show models that look nothing like the general population, at least not what I see here in the Midwest where I live. People are pimping diet programs, hair removal and liposuction. It’s all a scheme aimed to make us feel like we need these things so we can look like the people in the other ads. A lie that these things will make us happy.
Another lie I hear is that ‘cheaters never lie’. I think the act of cheating IS lying. Or that ‘time heals all wounds.’ I’m pretty sure it’s hard to forget someone who has hurt you. That hurt doesn’t just go away because a week, a month or years pass. The hurt can soften for some but other people can hold onto it and feed it so it grows as time passes. When this happens, the hurt can turn into something unrecognizable.
Now I can’t do anything about the lies I hear in the world other than to turn them off or tune them out. I can do something about the hurt I’ve caused another or the hurt I’ve endured from another’s sin against me.
Imagine if each time I did or said something negative I set a 6”x6” square block between myself and the other person or the group of people. Let’s say when they retaliate to defend themselves, they add a block to the space between us, going back and forth, building a wall to separate us. What would happen if I accused everyone of being against me and I set these blocks out in between all the people in my life. I’d be stuck.
The thing is, just as I had the power to put the blocks in place, I have the power to break the walls down. I have to learn how to melt away the anger, frustration, jealousy, insecurity and whatever else I have feeding me lies. I have to find a way to forgive myself for the wrong I’ve done and hurt I’ve caused. I need to accept forgiveness from those who’ve hurt me, if they are willing and able to give it; and I need to be okay if they can’t.
In doing this, I come to see that the blocks I was stacking up between myself and others were not heavy concrete blocks but blocks of lies, accusations, and assumptions that I sort through to find forgiveness. These things can be just as heavy to carry as the concrete block, but once I do the work to release these unrealistic expectations of myself and others, I am more aware of the lies that got me stuck in the first place.
I learn through studying the bible and discovering where I get my worth and what I value. I come to realize I can manage my emotions and my actions better. In doing this, I am able to keep myself from setting out those blocks in the first place. I of course cannot keep someone from hurting me intentionally or unintentionally, but because of the work I’ve done, I can get myself to a place where I’m open to forgiveness.
The words found in 1Corinthians, Chapter 13 explain it all very well. Since God calls us to love him and love others, we need to know what it means to love. When we read the scripture, we get a very through definition. It explains how we cannot love if we are boastful or angry. We don’t keep score or speak negatively about another. It is these actions that cause division and require forgiveness.
When I take to heart this scripture in particular, it gives me something to work towards. I can also read about how Jesus, the disciples and prophets forgave others, and follow their examples. To learn to forgive, I believe you must first learn how to love. It’s the damage done to the love that binds the relationship that requires the forgiveness after all. Let the negative melt away and replace the lies with truth. This is where true happiness can be found, in the love of God and the love of others.
